In four weeks and one day, I will be releasing The Alpha’s Dream.
It feels surreal to even type that. It isn’t that I haven’t published before, but a pen name is very different from my actual name. ThE anonymity that comes from a pen name created some separation. My actual name doesn’t. It feels like I have a lot of proving to do.
So many things are going through my head when I look at the pages in front of me. The long nights I spent croctched over my keyboard, the endless doubts of whether it’s good, and all the time I’ve missed wiht my little loves in order to write come down to this.
In theory, the journey is the point. Writing is my passion. The Alpha’s Dream could flop and I would still wake up with stories to tell. However, I still want my passion to pay the bills. There is still so much to do. I have to finalize my second draft and get it to my editor. Hopefully, she’ll return it with few edits, because it is mostly perfect. 😍 More than likely, I’ll be down to the wire getting it ready for release date. I do ;t mind. I worked hard for my clients, and I can work hard for me.
My fears aren’t that the book isn’t enjoyable. I love it, but again I am biased. I want to crawl into hte pages with my characters and walk them through the choices they are making. After all, so much of being th author is just about- ushering my characters to the ledges they need to jump from. I don;t make th e hoices about what happens to them, they do.
The Alpha’s release is no different.
Nathaniel and Euphoria have a ton of internal doubts to work through in order to have a successful relationship. They have to be grave, to rewrite the narrative of their lives as far as relationships are concerned. It will not be easy. It won’t even be moderately difficult. It will be hard. The realizations they will come too will challenge everything they’ve believed about themselves as lovers.
In much the same way, writing The Alpha’s Dream has challenged me. Iv’e had to relinquish thoughts of inadequancies. I’ve had to unravel all the doubts, find their roots and pluck them up. I’ve had to examine my motivations for writing and what I hoped to accomplish through my work. Whatever the outcome, this is a dream manifesting and I don’t take that for granted.