Whenever I am developing characters for my book, I always look to my myriad of friends. They are a constant source of inspiration. Doing so brings me face to face to the specific positions my friends hold in my life.
I love my tribe. They are as varied as they are loving. Our complicated histories intertwine in all the best ways and surely without them I would be less of the woman I am today. To be clear, most of them hold more than one role in my life. Even here they take on more than one trait, but for the purposes of this blog I’ll assign them only one.
This post is an homage to the grace they’ve brought to my life. It is by no means an exhaustive accounting of the roles they have played, just he roles they’ve played most often. In some ways, all of these roles overlap. They’ve all been different things to me at different points in my life. It is only now, as I sit with thoughts of growth and continuous change that I dwell on those who remained steadfast and present in my life. The twisting turns of my path have always brought me back to them and their unending love. I honor that today.
Here are the five roles and the friends who most often hold them in my life. Here is how they’ve made me great.
The Motivator, Latasha Weatherspoon
All great dreams need some action to make them real. Since I’m prone to introspection and often succumb to the spiraling of negative thoughts, Latasha has been an intricate part in encouraging me to pull myself out. Despite being almost complete opposites we’ve shared similar backgrounds. Our lives have paralleled in curious ways during our fourteen year friendship.
She is a source of inspiration, and often sends me Youtube clips, scriptures, and other insightful works to help keep me motivated. No matter the time of day, I know she’s available to talk me through my funk and get me back on course toward my vision. She is truly a person living her purpose. Having founded The Lifted Lifestyle, an empowerment movement, Latasha continues to expand her own visions. She pushes any who comes to her events, workshops to look past their perceived shortcomings and instead focus on their goals.
Every Dream builder needs someone in their circle like Latasha. The path of entrepreneurship is long and sometimes arduous. Having someone close whom you trust and who believes in your vision for your life is critical. Be selective in assembling your tribe, and keep a motivator around.
The Fellow Dreamer, Stephanie Harper
Full of silliness, this one. If there is a joke to be told, a story needing dramatic affects, or an outrageous plan to be hatched Steph is there somewhere. Another lengthy friendship that has proven priceless to my life. We’ve grown would be women to actual women together and one thing remains the same. We are the dreamers
Stephanie is another one of my friends who is constantly expanding the reaches of her ideal life. She is always available to throw ideas back and forward. Discussing the logistics of my plans with her has become one of the calling cards of our friendship. She is the voice that forces me to answer how I am going to execute my dreams. The fluff won’t do here. She wants my plans, and challenges me to be more than just optimistic. if I am not proactively pursuing those things I say I want, she calls me on it every time while still encouraging me to take time for myself when I need it.
The dreamer is the perfect compliment to the motivator as they are the ones who push encourage limitless creation. The greater the vision, the more difficult it can be to narrow down the tiny details that will make it work. A fellow dreamer knows that the bigger picture needs to be broken down into smaller pieces and built back up. All creators should surround themselves with others who create and are aware of the risks being taken to live out a dream.
The Critical Eye, Sondi Warner
My sister. We’ve been together all our lives. She is a writer herself and has carved out her place as an exceptional ghostwriter. Though she is my younger sister, her love affair with writing began well before mine. Her ability to weave a compelling story is awe inspiring. Because of this, I trust her implicitly with my work. She sees the holes I don’t see. Has a quick and driving writing style. I trust her voice. Often, I take my work to her for the feedback she gives.
I think what makes her presence so important to me (besides us being siblings) is because I admire her work. We share a love of writing and think critically about how our work will be received. Her attention to detail, analysis of plot, and foresight for problematic areas in my work is something people pay thousands for. When I don’t go to her for an assessment, it shows in my work. Little details that she would have questioned me on glare back in the reviews of my work.
Whatever your dream, there should be someone you trust who’s critical eye can make your work stronger. This may be a sibling as in my case, but it almost doesn’t matter how they’ve come to your life. What matters is that they are invested in your dream because you are and when asked they are willing to say the hard things to help you polish your work.
The Diversion, James Welch
Sculpter. Poet. Stencil Artist. James’ skills as an artist are only overshadowed by his open heart and the humble spirit. He is busy living his most authentic life and still makes time for me and my tomfoolery. His heart is pure and welcoming. He loves that I write, but he doesn’t always want to talk about my work. Perfect. Yes, please! I don’t always want to talk about my work.
We find common ground in knowing we are both making sacrifices to live out our dreams. We follow each others work, offer encouragement, and seek to see each other succeed. However, when we have the time to chat it up, work is only a side note in our lengthy conversations. I love him for being a normalizing spirit in my life. I love that he believes in my work and doesn’t feel the need to make me define it every time we speak. Instead, he wants to talk about my darlings, our lovers, and life in general.
On a day when everything has been hectic while trying to give bones to my vision, it feels great to have someone to decompress with. It is important. Having some separation from work is a form of self-care. James makes sure that I am doing just that. I know he supports me being writer, but mostly he supports me as his friend. Surround yourself with people who not only believe in the value of your dream, but also your value. They will be there whether things fly and/or fail.
The Silent Partner, Clifford B. Young
Eleven years and counting. We’ve seen the best and worst of each other. We’ve weathered false starts, failed attempts, and unforgiving consequences with each other. We’ve built a life with each other that in a lot of ways is not enviable. Yet, we thrive.
For those wo know eyes, silent hardly seems to fit my husband. By nature, he is gregarious and a storyteller in his own right. He is full of wild tales, most true. When it comes to me and my work, he is the quiet reassurance that I have what I need to get it right.
There isn’t a person in this world who has more faith in me then him. I love him for that, and so many other reasons. My darling rarely ever gives me advice on my work. He’s the one who hears all of my crazy premises before they can become anything. He is the one who advocates for me, pushes my work, and stands back to give me room to blossom. He wants for me what I want for myself and does what he can to smooth the way for me.
His presence as someone who is committed to build my brand with me and still gives me room to pick the direction has proven time and again to be just what I needed. He trusts that I know what I want and walks with me through the processes of my development. I have a lifetime to thank him for all he does.
I am eternally grateful for the presence of these people in my life. All of them are creates, writers, and other mediums. They know me well, they love me hard, and I know they want what is best for me and my dreams. I don’t know that I would have accomplished as much as I have, or even dreamed as big as I have without them. I hope you’ve found these people in your life as well and I hope they make their way into your writing.
What are some of the roles friends have played in your dream building. Comment below.
Joy.
Jocelyn Young 