#KeepinTouch: 5 Reasons you should subscribe to my blog

I’ve been working on my blog as part of my author platform for a while now. The truth is, it’s become so much more.

As I write this, I’m already thinking of what other things I will add to my blog to make it more interactive for my readers. Not just those who read my books, but those who drop by on occasion to keep in touch. I love the alerts when someone likes a post I’ve read or when they send me a message about something I’ve written. It feels good to be connected.

So, I want you to come here more often. I want you to send your friends, your frenemies, and the all that you believe will be interested to my website. I’m more than just books and here are five reasons you should subscribe to my blog and keep in touch.

 

Mama Stories/Wife Things

I’ve only been a mother for three years. I’ve been a wife for nearly eleven years. My years alone with my husband are a very telling part of my being a romantic. My years with my children were the catalyst for me to stop ghostwriting. Already, I’ve gained a lot, learned a lot about myself and the world around me that I didn’t notice until my children were born. Their births kicked my writing into gear and I love it. Often enough, I found myself writing about their influence as I blogged. It has now become a permanent and intentional writing point. I’m a #MamaAuthor. It is a major factor to my work. If you are a mama/ wife who has found yourself influenced by your children or your spouse to commit to your other passions, these stories are for you.

Book updates, snippets and conversations on publishing

My blog came to exist because I am an author. It is a place for readers to connect with my books. So of course, there will be updates for what I am working on, new release information, and soon there will be snippets of works in progress. I write shifter romances with African-American leads. If you are into that sort of thing, subscribe! keeping in contact here will allow a greater chance that you will see what’s coming next, first.

Goal Digging

This is a big thing for me. I’m always working on other projects. It’s not that I just prefer to be busy, but I prefer to expand on my purpose. My blog deals a lot with my goals from the stand point of an author. However, the tools and methods I use can be applied to anything. I’m all for accountability. When I’m writing to you, I am asking you to hold me accountable for the dreams I have made public. When you comment, you are inviting me to do the same. It is a small thing, but a very useful one. Together we can inspire each other toward the lives we all want.

Exclusives and Giveaways

Now that I am getting the hang of this blogging thing I’m offering a lot more. My writing career is officially kicked off and while establishing my dream team, I’m in the process of developing exclusive swag for those who join. In addition, the excerpts and #freshpress work that you find here is exclusive unless otherwise noted. When you come to my website, I want your experience to be one fluid invitation into the creative space of my life. I aim to make that as seamless and welcoming as possible.

We’re All Family Here

You may have stumbled upon my blog. You may have gotten here through a search engine or some other method of funneling. Whatever the way you got here, it is because you were looking for something. So is everyone here. I’m writing African-American centered shifter romances because I couldn’t readily find them when I was looking. Maybe that was what drew you. Stay for the coffee and conversation. Stay for the insights on publishing, and the struggles I face while trying to write what I love. Comment with tips for dealing with anxiety or other ways to balance work and wife/mama life. We’re all connected here. We are all here for a reason and I am working to nurture those reasons for all of us.

There you have it. Five good reasons you should subscribe to my blog if you haven’t already.   You can simply follow me from the site or you can sign up  for my newsletters for updates on the latest going on here and with the books I am publishing. I’m sure you have your reasons for coming. These are reasons to stay. Don’t break my heart. Leave a comment below about some of the things you’ve liked about my growing blog so far. I love to hear from you.

Joy.

 

The Year of the Leap: A confession.

I am always afraid.

I wish that was a rhetorical statement, but it is the truest of my truths. I am always, always afraid. It has been crippling, anxiety driven, irrational fears that have largely led me to a life of  happenstance. Instead of charging forward for what I want, I have done the bare minimum so that I am not utterly destroyed if things fall apart. There have been some successes, but mostly there has been mediocrity. A mediocre life does no one justice.

News flash things will fall apart. It is sometimes inevitable.

That isn’t to say that preparedness wouldn’t have helped. On the contrary, preparedness at its base allows for worst case scenarios. It is ready for the expected outcome, and the diversion when the plan changes. It is not dictated by fear. It girths itself for battle. It faces head-on the unforeseen war.

That takes courage and courage takes control over fear. I have learned this the hard way more times than I care to honestly relive. Over the last five years, I have faced head on unforeseen wars, because I have had no choice.

Fall or Fly.

I was pushed from those ledges and I have been navigating blindly ever since. Until now.

In the midst of being pushed an opportunity came my way that I was not prepared for. The only difference this time, was that I had already faced some of my deepest fears. I had courage, because I had nothing else to lose.

Sink or Swim.

I took the opportunity, unsure of where it would lead. It brought me to a hidden dream. One that I had spoken out loud, but never believed I would come to see exist. I didn’t know how to draw it out of myself. I didn’t even know if I could.

Tread Water or Drown.

It was overwhelming and far more than I had expected. If I had known then what I know now, I probably would have convinced myself to say “no”. Someone else could have done it more justice, made it more successful. I wasn’t the one who  could do it right, but I did it well.

I surprised myself. I have aimed to keep surprising myself ever since.

This year, is my Year of the Leap.

Instead of waiting to be  pushed, pulled, or dragged kicking and screaming from my comfort zone I am jumping. I am writing the books for myself that I love. I am building a brand even though I know nothing about branding. I am working long hours, away from the children I prayed for so that one day they will see their mother’s name in print and be proud. I am cracking open.

I am afraid. I  am always, always, always afraid.

There are so many unknowns and the Virgo in me hates unknowns. (Hates!) I want guarantee’s and there is none- save these. I have fallen before. I have flown. I have sunk before. I have swam. I have learned how to tread water. I will not drown.  I will not drown.

I am always afraid. But what is a dream if it does not prompt the absolute need to stare into the monster of the abyss and face it down?

As I look out  into this year, and the unknowns curdle like spoiled milk in my stomach, I know this will be another year that shapes me. I know it will mean some very long nights, and longer prayers. I will force me to admit what I want for myself and those I love. It will force me to confront my shortcomings in a way that I will never believe myself capable of doing. I will have to challenge my most private thoughts in order to accomplish my vision over my life.

It is hard leaving the ledge for an unknown landing, but I have decided to be transformed. I hope it transforms you too.

 

Joy.

Resolutions-The Umbrella Solution

I’ve been a fan of New Year’s Resolutions for as long as I can remember. There is something refreshing about reflection on past choices and ambition for something better culminating in a new outlook. the New Year, New Me was built for people with my wavering optimism. Much to my chagrin, it often leads me with the same results when the enthusiasm wears off.

In the past, I’ve been guilty of keeping some resolutions and breaking others. The ugly details generally include weight loss and bad habits I  should have abandoned. As I’ve gotten older and a touch wiser I’ve come to realize that resolutions like any tool are only as effective as the user’s ability. If I was going to keep a resolution – really stick to it – then I had to edit the way I was approaching these opportunistic rebirths.

It took some time to come up with my resolution  this year. Since my goals are specific to certain sections of my life, my resolution must be an umbrella. It must cover everything that I hope to accomplish and still leave room for more. So, I don’t say I’m going to lose ten pounds by June. Instead, I say I will have revamped my approach to healthy living in 2017. The process is the exact opposite of my goal setting method, but more on that here.

Having spent most of my life winging resolutions because of course. I’ve noticed having a more definable way of picking them has been the remedy for my inconsistent success. Of course it would be, success is measured in consistency and consistency is contagious. It is not a far leap from successful resolution to reached goals. All you have to do is the work, and trust the process. Here are the five ways I determine my New Year’s resolution. Use them how you will or not at all, just be sure to leave me a comment on your resolution thoughts!

Rule 1: No Small Potatoes.

Like I said before, I had to stop thinking of my resolutions like goals. Instead of making them unnecessarily specific, I had to broaden their reach. The trick is in the language.

e.g. lose ten pounds vs. revamp healthy living approach

In the first portion of the example, the language emphasis is on the number of pounds. In my process, that makes it a goal. In the second portion , the emphasis  is on healthy living. For some, these translate into the same thing. For me, one is about weight and the other is about quality of life. Quality of life is greater than weight.

Rule 2: Broad is not Vague

It is critical that in broadening your resolution it doesn’t become so thin that the goals it covers are barely encompassed. Your resolution should remind you of what your goals for the year are and flexibly address them.

i.e. I will be more mysterious on social media vs. I will be more protective of my private life on social media.

Saying you would be more mysterious does include privacy. However, mystery could be anything. I could be a thinly veiled comment toward an enemy or an elaborate lie that hides true intentions. Privacy carries very specific connotations. Yet, it covers a large area. Privacy could relate just as much to photo sharing as it does to beliefs and ideals. Privacy is a better choice in language for a resolution than mystery, because it addresses your concerns and has a clear interpretation attached to it.

Rule 3: Connectivity is key

Your resolution cannot be an umbrella if the goals you have don’t fit under it. Your goals can cover many factions of your life, but the umbrella method requires a thin thread or theme that connects all of them. Think of it like this. If you tried to use your umbrella to cover your car and yourself at the same time it will undoubtedly leave you wet.  So, your goals should have something in common that can be summed up and covered by your resolution.

i.e. My 2012 resolution was no regrets. Sampling of my 2012 goals were to explore different writing styles in business, say yes to more social invitations in my personal life, and to exorcise the shame I carried from past poor choices.

The theme for 2012 was to make my decisions knowing there would be risk and to not regret the outcome. It didn’t matter whether the outcome was good or bad. My umbrella was no regrets and my goals were all examples of situations I would normally formulate regret. Bind your goals to your resolution and it gives you a greater opportunity for success.

Rule 4: Mantras not Minutes

The break down of this is more for practical use. Your resolution should be no longer than three to five words. Crazy, right?!? Crazy good. Unlike your  goals, your resolution is supposed to carry over for the whole year. Thus, it should stick with you. Having a sentence that is three to five words long to cover your year makes it easy to remember. Your resolution is your mantra to be repeated to yourself over and over. It is not however meeting minutes rambling on with every detail you suspect is important.

i.e. (In 2017) I am determined and fearless. vs. I am determined and fearless to overcome any challenges that come my way as I embark on the opportunities that 2017 have to offer.

Need I explain more? The first option is short, can be clearly interpreted, and covers a theme of facing challenges – without explicitly saying so. Your resolution is for you. You don’t have to explain it to yourself. Make your resolution simple, memorable, and it will remain with you all year.

Rule 5: Think of it in terms of a year.

In my post, 5 rules for choosing a goal, I push for goals to have deadlines. Deadlines offer a direction and timing is important when working on specific goals. However, resolutions are not meant to have finality in the same sense. Goals need a finish, but resolutions are generally changes you hope to carry with you through life. Thinking of them in short-term timeframes isn’t as beneficial as thinking of them in over longer terms. Goals are a sprint, resolutions are a marathon.

i.e. Year of no regrets/ Year of being determined and fearless.

2012 was my year of no regrets and I still remind myself to make the choices I am drawn to even when I can’t predict the outcome. Earlier this year, I read Shonda Rhimes’, Year of Yes. In it, she talks about continuing passed her year mark. I’ve found thinking in terms of the year made me more likely to continue the process even after the “deadline” had passed. It’s a sneaky little trick, but it works and we’re all looking for something that works.

So there it is more or less. My Umbrella method for choosing a New Year Resolution. Results will vary according to your resolution and will, but otherwise you should be fine. A toast to meeting you on the other side of all we will accomplish in 2017 and to the methods that get us there.

Joy.