Resolutions-The Umbrella Solution

I’ve been a fan of New Year’s Resolutions for as long as I can remember. There is something refreshing about reflection on past choices and ambition for something better culminating in a new outlook. the New Year, New Me was built for people with my wavering optimism. Much to my chagrin, it often leads me with the same results when the enthusiasm wears off.

In the past, I’ve been guilty of keeping some resolutions and breaking others. The ugly details generally include weight loss and bad habits I  should have abandoned. As I’ve gotten older and a touch wiser I’ve come to realize that resolutions like any tool are only as effective as the user’s ability. If I was going to keep a resolution – really stick to it – then I had to edit the way I was approaching these opportunistic rebirths.

It took some time to come up with my resolution  this year. Since my goals are specific to certain sections of my life, my resolution must be an umbrella. It must cover everything that I hope to accomplish and still leave room for more. So, I don’t say I’m going to lose ten pounds by June. Instead, I say I will have revamped my approach to healthy living in 2017. The process is the exact opposite of my goal setting method, but more on that here.

Having spent most of my life winging resolutions because of course. I’ve noticed having a more definable way of picking them has been the remedy for my inconsistent success. Of course it would be, success is measured in consistency and consistency is contagious. It is not a far leap from successful resolution to reached goals. All you have to do is the work, and trust the process. Here are the five ways I determine my New Year’s resolution. Use them how you will or not at all, just be sure to leave me a comment on your resolution thoughts!

Rule 1: No Small Potatoes.

Like I said before, I had to stop thinking of my resolutions like goals. Instead of making them unnecessarily specific, I had to broaden their reach. The trick is in the language.

e.g. lose ten pounds vs. revamp healthy living approach

In the first portion of the example, the language emphasis is on the number of pounds. In my process, that makes it a goal. In the second portion , the emphasis  is on healthy living. For some, these translate into the same thing. For me, one is about weight and the other is about quality of life. Quality of life is greater than weight.

Rule 2: Broad is not Vague

It is critical that in broadening your resolution it doesn’t become so thin that the goals it covers are barely encompassed. Your resolution should remind you of what your goals for the year are and flexibly address them.

i.e. I will be more mysterious on social media vs. I will be more protective of my private life on social media.

Saying you would be more mysterious does include privacy. However, mystery could be anything. I could be a thinly veiled comment toward an enemy or an elaborate lie that hides true intentions. Privacy carries very specific connotations. Yet, it covers a large area. Privacy could relate just as much to photo sharing as it does to beliefs and ideals. Privacy is a better choice in language for a resolution than mystery, because it addresses your concerns and has a clear interpretation attached to it.

Rule 3: Connectivity is key

Your resolution cannot be an umbrella if the goals you have don’t fit under it. Your goals can cover many factions of your life, but the umbrella method requires a thin thread or theme that connects all of them. Think of it like this. If you tried to use your umbrella to cover your car and yourself at the same time it will undoubtedly leave you wet.  So, your goals should have something in common that can be summed up and covered by your resolution.

i.e. My 2012 resolution was no regrets. Sampling of my 2012 goals were to explore different writing styles in business, say yes to more social invitations in my personal life, and to exorcise the shame I carried from past poor choices.

The theme for 2012 was to make my decisions knowing there would be risk and to not regret the outcome. It didn’t matter whether the outcome was good or bad. My umbrella was no regrets and my goals were all examples of situations I would normally formulate regret. Bind your goals to your resolution and it gives you a greater opportunity for success.

Rule 4: Mantras not Minutes

The break down of this is more for practical use. Your resolution should be no longer than three to five words. Crazy, right?!? Crazy good. Unlike your  goals, your resolution is supposed to carry over for the whole year. Thus, it should stick with you. Having a sentence that is three to five words long to cover your year makes it easy to remember. Your resolution is your mantra to be repeated to yourself over and over. It is not however meeting minutes rambling on with every detail you suspect is important.

i.e. (In 2017) I am determined and fearless. vs. I am determined and fearless to overcome any challenges that come my way as I embark on the opportunities that 2017 have to offer.

Need I explain more? The first option is short, can be clearly interpreted, and covers a theme of facing challenges – without explicitly saying so. Your resolution is for you. You don’t have to explain it to yourself. Make your resolution simple, memorable, and it will remain with you all year.

Rule 5: Think of it in terms of a year.

In my post, 5 rules for choosing a goal, I push for goals to have deadlines. Deadlines offer a direction and timing is important when working on specific goals. However, resolutions are not meant to have finality in the same sense. Goals need a finish, but resolutions are generally changes you hope to carry with you through life. Thinking of them in short-term timeframes isn’t as beneficial as thinking of them in over longer terms. Goals are a sprint, resolutions are a marathon.

i.e. Year of no regrets/ Year of being determined and fearless.

2012 was my year of no regrets and I still remind myself to make the choices I am drawn to even when I can’t predict the outcome. Earlier this year, I read Shonda Rhimes’, Year of Yes. In it, she talks about continuing passed her year mark. I’ve found thinking in terms of the year made me more likely to continue the process even after the “deadline” had passed. It’s a sneaky little trick, but it works and we’re all looking for something that works.

So there it is more or less. My Umbrella method for choosing a New Year Resolution. Results will vary according to your resolution and will, but otherwise you should be fine. A toast to meeting you on the other side of all we will accomplish in 2017 and to the methods that get us there.

Joy.

 

 

4 rules to goal picking for success.

 

I’m ambitious, but ambition doesn’t always  translate into time management or even a completed to-do list. I aim to change most if not all of that in 2017, but to do so requires a plan.

Everyone knows this is the time of year for resolutions and healthy projections about the year to come. In all the holiday craziness this hardly seems a great time to set goals for the new year. Yet, most of us will.There is just something about the turning over of a new year that makes everything seem possible. Still, all of those good feelings don’t generally come with a guidebook. There’s not always  a great way to turn good intentions into accomplishments. So, I decided that in order to give myself  the best chance at knocking things off my  bucket list I had to start with a clear plan.

Set some goals. Make a plan. Execute.

Simple enough except I’m a Virgo and nothing is ever that simple. The over analytical side of me hopped right up to the plate to determine exactly how complex I could make this simple task, starting with setting my goals for the year. Just before I was utterly defeated, I found a way to streamline my process and ensure the goals I picked for this year were achievable.

I’m sharing my process now, because I know I’m not the only one who could use a little guidance when determining goals. This four rule process helped tremendously when it came time for me to narrow my years goals down. With any luck, it’ll help you too.  Use what you can, discard what you can’t, and be sure to leave a comment about what you would do differently!

Rule 1: Goals must be reasonable.

I’m a wife, and a work-from-home mom who is currently pregnant. Time is of the essence. Any goals I set for the year  have to be carefully woven into an already stretched day. I have to be honest with myself when determining what things  I can accomplish in the loving chaos that I live in. This isn’t a chance to short myself by not choosing heavy hitters who drive my purpose. I still have to do the work of forward movement. In order to orchestrate this, I must choose goals that are obtainable if nothing changes and flexible when everything does.

Example. I will read 100 books in 2017 vs. I will read 52 books in 2017.

An effective goal has both a deadline and is measurable, but more on that later.

For my schedule anything more than a book a week is too high of a commitment. So my goal must take this into consideration. However, it is not unreasonable within my schedule to find time for one book a week. Even though, it would probably be easier to commit to only one book a month it would not be challenging. I want the challenge.

Rule 2. Goals must feed mind, body, and/or soul.

This one is layered for me. Most often in my busy schedule if something or someone is to be neglected it is me. Putting myself last on the list can sometimes make room for our families bigger picture, but when I am depleted everything in my house seems to stop. In order to continuously be a loving, supportive wife and a loving, devoted mother I have to make time for things that renew me. I must find the time. My goals must prioritize my needs and still honor the needs of those I love.

Goals are personal even though they have rippling effects in some cases.

Example. Taking a twenty minute walk alone to clear my head is not always feasible. However, walking the dogs with my husband and children keeps everyone occupied, gives us quality time and still allows me a little internal space to clear my head. Not to mention, the healthy benefits of a little fresh air and mobility.

You now what your needs are. Do not be afraid to pencil them into your goals. Burn out, fatigue, anxiety are all very real. If you (or I) ignore the needs of the mind, and body the soul will suffer every time. Your goals should offer every imaginable opportunity to bring out the best in yourself to yourself.

Rule 3. Goals must challenge.

Here’s the deal. Goals are about growth. No one grows from remaining comfortable. If a goal does not push, pull, or at the very least coax me out of my comfort zone (comfortable way of thinking, feeling, or doing things) then they are not productive goals.

I have to do the work, to push myself toward greater accomplishments  at the risk of being uncomfortable. Things that don’t move, rust. While contentment for what I have when I have it is great, stagnation is not. In  the words of Walt Disney… Keep moving forward.

Rule 4 . Goals must have a sense of urgency.

Deadlines are not fun, but they are effective. Executing my goals with efficiency and maximizing my ability to remain focused on them requires an end date. In fairness, the end date must be realistic to the goal. Most goals have layers, different requirements. Consider them individually and honestly when working on your timeline.

Deadline example.

No matter how hard I try, I am not gong to trim 7 inches from my waist in 48 hours.

7 inches in 30 days is a realistic deadline and honest to my metabolism, and health routines.

By being honest with yourself about your timeline, you increase the likelihood of success for that goal. Gives yourself the best shot to be successful. The endorphin release is worth it.

I used these rules as a foundation for all of my goal setting. It is by no means a definitive list nor am I an authority on goals, but I have had some success because of them.

By all means, take what you will from my little list of rules. Edit them, discard what does and doesn’t work for you. Do whatever you must, but make goals and stick to them. No matter how small or large, all the positive changes we willingly make for our lives are significant changes. Just don’t be afraid to take the leap.